


Cat-and-Mouse Game

by E_J_Morgan



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: AU, Gen, Humor, Oneshot, Parody, ghost story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 04:11:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14845469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E_J_Morgan/pseuds/E_J_Morgan
Summary: Spencer Reid is about to start working for the BAU and for that, he has to move to DC. What happens when the apartment Gideon gets for him is already occupied - by ghosts?





	Cat-and-Mouse Game

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know if Gideon was really unit chief before Boston and his medical leave but for the sake of this story, I’ll just assume he was. Of course, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong; it’s been a while since I last watched season 1.

_ATTENTION, MY FELLOW KIND SPIRITS!_

_According to our trustworthy informant who risked exposure to acquire this intel, a new resident – a mortal! – is supposed to move into our sacred sanctuary later this week. I don’t think there’s need to explain how this fact would disrupt our habitual yearly conference that has been held at that very residence for over two decades now without problems, ever since human beings abandoned the whole building after deeming it ‘haunted’ exactly 23 years ago._

_To avoid the threatening catastrophe, please, grace us with your presence tomorrow at 10 AM so that we may come up with a plan to save our safe harbor for ourselves and many future souls to come._

_I’m honestly very sorry for the short notice but the situation is very grave and any delay could prove to be catastrophic._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Prince Christian Gocelinus Berengerus de Thybaut_

**CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM**

 

Derek Morgan blinked confusedly at the senior profiler, not quite able to believe what he had just heard. The man had absentmindedly given them the news about how they were supposed to get a new teammate in just a few days and then seemingly already considered the matter closed. Hadn’t the man thought it necessary – or at least: proper – to let the others have a little bit more time to come to terms with something like that? The team’s integrity was in jeopardy here! Every new member brought something new along when they joined and it always remained to be seen later if it would turn out to be something good or bad for them all.

 

And now a kid, nonetheless. A 20-year-old kid, for God’s sake! Who had ever heard of anything similar?

 

Even the second in command, Aaron Hotchner seemed somewhat dazed and that was serious: nobody knew their unit chief, Jason Gideon, better than Hotch. Hotch was never surprised by anything the older man did. Except now he obviously was… What a mess.

 

“Gideon, you must be kidding.” – Was all Morgan could say in the end. – “A twenty-year-old CHILD? What will he do here? He’ll run screaming the other way from the very first crime scene he’ll visit!”

 

Gideon just shrugged, not looking particularly bothered about his team’s worry. Not that the man ever looked bothered about anything, mind you.

 

Aaron Hotchner had something else to say:

 

“And the old ‘Wicked Hollow’ Building? Jason, really? That place could collapse any minute; no wonder it has been abandoned for ages! The boy would be the only resident in the whole ex-condo! There’s not even a working elevator and you want to put him on the third floor! How would he even carry up his furniture?”

 

“He doesn’t have much. Everything we’ll get him, will be put together there. Don’t worry, Aaron. He only cares about his books and his privacy. He’s not comfortable around people; he should like it there.”

 

Morgan inwardly groaned. That was just splendid; their job included lots of traveling and sleeping in different hotels. Sometimes even sharing rooms. That would be great with someone who needed to move into an abandoned building because he couldn’t bear to be around others… Again: what had the man been thinking!? Had he been thinking at all?

 

Jennifer Jareau, their media liaison, chuckled.

 

“According to rumors, the building is haunted. Poor boy won’t want to stay there for more than ten minutes once he hears to stories!”

 

“Oh, come on, JJ.” – Gideon shook his head exasperatedly. – “The boy is a genius; he won’t care about stupid fairy tales!”

 

“Gideon: everyone cares about ghost stories!” – She pressed. – “They’re exciting. Unless you live in the house that’s haunted. Then it’s just plain scary.”

 

“Nonsense. None of you has to worry; I have everything under control. You won’t have any problems with the boy, I promise.” – With that, he climbed the catwalk and shut himself into his office, leaving the others staring after him in disbelief.

 

After a while, Hotch cleared his throat.

 

“That’s good. I wonder though if the boy won’t have any problems either?”

 

**CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM**

 

Inside the ‘’Wicked Hollow’ (which was actually a name only the local people used) the atmosphere was solemn.

 

“Fellows… What do we do now? The mortal will be here in a few days. The deal’s made…” – The transparent old man tried to hold back the tears at the very thought of having their peaceful lives turned upside-down by a living person who would scream and cry and try to chase them away. Maybe the human would even have a priest come over! Just the thought of holy water had him shivering.

 

“Dear Sir Grenseal; don’t presume the worst right away! I can see it on your eyes: you’re already thinking about cleansing rituals and spirit releasers. We won’t let it go that far though! We’ll fight for what’s rightfully ours!” – One of the other ghosts said with infinite determination.

 

“But what can we do!?” – Asked a third, much younger spirit, looking for all the world like she thought the universe was about to end, while the others all seemed to agree with her.

 

“I have an idea! What we should do, is….”

 

After having agreed on a plan, they set the date and place for the next meeting that would take place in two weeks to see if their strategy had been effective.

 

**CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM**

 

“Kid, are you sure you’ll be all right here?” – Asked Morgan probably for the tenth time since they had started carrying up the boy’s things to his apartment – if you could call it that at all. Gideon hadn’t been kidding when he had said the genius didn’t have much furniture to worry about but he had conveniently forgotten to mention the rich collection of books that made up for it. They had just pushed the fifth enormous box full of what Derek supposed were the hardback editions of the longest novels ever written in the too-narrow door. – “Don’t you find this apartment and the whole building a bit… khm… I mean---”

 

“Creepy?” – Finished JJ for him who was looking through their new teammate’s meager possessions, trying to find some decorations to make the abominable-looking place somewhat homier. Of course, soon she had to give it up as useless; the poor boy didn’t own anything that looked remotely nice.

 

Doctor Spencer Reid, the newest addition to the BAU team, shook his head. The movement caused his long brown curls to fall into his face, making him look even younger than his twenty years. Morgan had to wonder again if Gideon really knew what he was doing…

 

“No, it’s fine. Thank you all for the help.” – The boy said shyly, not really knowing how to express his gratitude. He had never had anyone to help him before; he didn’t have a clue what was expected of him. Maybe he should offer them coffee? It sure as hell always made him feel better… Though, right now, he had no idea where the cups were or how to make coffee without a coffee maker or---

 

“You’re very welcome, Spence. Do you mind if I call you Spence? I think it’s a cute nickname. But I won’t use it if you mind. I hate being called Jenny and one of my classmates used to say that all the time; he didn’t care that I hated it. I don’t want to be like that so you tell me if you hate being called Spence and then I’ll stop, all right?” – Reid didn’t mind but before he could answer, she was already talking a mile a minute again. – “I actually don’t believe ghost stories can be real. Do you? Because if you do then maybe---”

 

“JJ!” – Morgan hissed, trying to warn the blond woman. If the boy didn’t know about the stories, they definitely shouldn’t be the ones frightening him with them.

 

“Oh, my God, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean… I think this building is… quite… ahm…” – She looked at her friend, silently asking for help.

 

Morgan quickly added:

 

“It has character. This building, I mean. I like renovating old houses; I might be able to help if there’s something wrong. Have you tried the water? We should see if the plumbing is still working… Ahm…”

 

Reid, still unsure if the two were being serious or just teasing him, opted for carefully opening the faucet. Cristal clear water started to flow immediately.

 

“It’s fine. Thank you, Morgan.” – He said, hoping this was the right reaction. He never knew what was expected of him. Being around a bunch of new people was like the worse nightmare coming true for him, and he dreaded the next day when he’d have to go to work for the first time ever. Luckily, he’d already know three of his colleagues; but what about the others?

 

JJ gave him a calculating look, as if she couldn’t believe he was really not depressed about moving into an apartment like that.

 

“Look, Spence. We could probably find you another place to live… I mean: just look around. You’re the only one here and it is… spooky.” – She said.

 

“It’s really fine, JJ.” – She had made him promise him as soon as they had met that he should call her that. – “I don’t mind being alone.” – As a matter of fact, he liked it. He craved it. Especially before the agony he’d have to endure the next day. He needed to gather his energy. – “I’ll be all right here.” – He smiled, trying to make her believe him. Where was Gideon when you needed him?

 

Oh, speaking of the man…

 

“Okay, this was the last one.” – Panted the older man, heaving a box full of books onto the table, having just carried it upstairs. – “You do like reading, son, don’t you?”

 

“Yes, sir. I love it.” – Reid agreed, wondering if he wasn’t making a fool of himself. Although Gideon had sworn he wouldn’t be teased and/or bullied here, he still couldn’t be sure a place like that even existed.

 

“That’s great, I’m glad. You’ll have lots of reading to do in our line of work. So, if you’re sure you’ll all set, we should be going; give you time to pack out and get used to the new place… You know: get ready for tomorrow.”

 

The genius gulped.

 

“Yes, sir. Tomorrow… Right.”

 

“I’ll pick you up at half past six.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

And then they were gone, and the boy sighed of relief. He was finally alone.

 

**CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM**

 

_Two weeks later_

 

The ghost committee had gathered again, this time in a much smaller, albeit actually abandoned building to discuss their observations about the new invader currently inhabiting _their_ property.

 

“I tried everything! And I mean it: everything!” – Growled an old spirit angrily. – “I broke plates and misplaced cutlery but nothing! Absolutely no reaction at all! That boy wasn’t even looking for them!”

 

Another older woman nodded.

 

“I am, as you all know, a poltergeist. So I tried waking him in the middle of the night with screaming and I opened the curtains, and pushed the chair… Nothing! He’s a dead sleeper! Nothing disturbs him at all!”

 

“I tried mismatching his socks but… well… somebody had done it before me.” – A younger man shrugged. – “The boy didn’t care though. He wears them mismatched.” – He sighed dejectedly.

 

“I don’t get it!” – Burst out Prince Christian angrily. – “This has always worked before! Always! We’re scary and loud and unbeatable! We’ve had this building for ourselves for over two decades! What changed!? What’s wrong with this guy?”

 

“This boy is weird! I’m telling you: a psycho!”

 

“What happened, Bert?”

 

“What happened!? WHAT HAPPENED? I’ll tell you what happened: this… _man_ , he is insane! He owns all kinds of books about ancient mythology and demonology. I think he might be there to _study_ us!”

 

A collective gasp could be heard.

 

“WHAT!?”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Yes, I am! I saw pictures on the kitchen table… Photos of mutilated bodies! Women and children… Brrrr… And he was drinking coffee right next to them! Wasn’t bothered at all!”

 

“Freaky!”

 

“As I said: insane. He sometimes disappears for days and then just bumm… is there again. Whenever you’d think you’d done something right for once and he’s finally gone… It’s just a trick, I’m telling you. A bloody trick!”

 

“But who could be behind it all? Surely, not the kid alone… Can he? He looks like a stronger wind could blow him away.”

 

“Who knows with him… I mean: he mutters incoherently to himself and---”

 

“That yesterday, dear Rudy? It was Latin!”

 

“Whatever. The point is: you can never know with him!” – Finished Rudy, before leaning back tiredly. – “I never thought I’d be exhausted as a ghost but this young man makes me wish for my mortal body only so that I could sleep for a week!”

 

“Ah, well, he definitely doesn’t sleep as much as normal human beings!” – The poltergeist complained. – “Three nights ago it was my shift to wreak havoc and he didn’t even go to bed at all, spent all the time sitting at the kitchen table, drawing up incomprehensible diagrams… Oh my God! You don’t think…? It only just occurred to me… Those symbols could perhaps be…?”

 

“You mean: symbols to perform rituals for catching us? Like _trapping_ us?” – Squeaked a small, middle-aged man who wore a bloody suit. – “I’m never going back there! No, sir! I’m not!” – He declared, looking around as if expecting Satan himself hiding behind a closed door.

 

“Oh, my!” – Exclaimed a woman wearing nothing but a long, white nightgown. She must have died in her sleep. – “When I was there, he spilled something I suspected was sugar but what if it was in reality---”

 

“SALT!?!?!”

 

“I’m not going back either!”

 

“Me either!”

 

“We’ll need to look for another place for our yearly meetings!”

 

“I’ll volunteer to search for a new location as long as you promise we won’t have to go back to _that place_ ever again!

 

“Agreed!”

 

**CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM * CM**

 

“So, Spencer: two weeks have passed. Tell me, how are you doing, son?” – Asked Gideon kindly, trying to determine if his young protégé had any problems adjusting to his new life. So far it seemed like he was doing great, but who knew with that young man?

“Oh, everything is fine, Gideon! I love the work and the team! Everyone is so nice and nobody’s bullying me! I can’t even believe my luck…”

 

“And the apartment?”

 

“I just LOVE the apartment! Not only do I have my own place; I have my own _building_! It’s so cool! I can’t thank you enough for it, Gideon!”

 

The older man was slightly taken aback by this enthusiasm.

 

“So, you’re sure you don’t miss having neighbors? Or a working elevator? Or---”

 

“No, no no; absolutely no! I’m not really good with people, Gideon, you know that. It’s fine when we’re traveling and I’m not freaking out in the proximity of the team anymore but... it’s nice to go home and be by myself afterwards, you know?”

 

“Yeah, I know, son.” – The unit chief smiled, happy that the young man was feeling at home with them.

 

“And it’s also funny because I can be so forgetful! I could swear sometimes that I left something at a place and then I find it someplace else. Or when I think I’d closed the window but it’s still open. It happens that I wake up early in the morning because I had forgotten to close the curtains the evening before. I love it that there’s nobody to tease me about these things! Or when I accidently spilled sugar all over the floor one morning because I was deep in thoughts and nobody laughed at me and…”

 

As the boy rambled on and on, Jason Gideon couldn’t help but think: Spencer Reid was unique and would do great things in the future. He was sure of that.


End file.
